This past Sunday I laughed harder than I have in quite a while. It all started with the NY Times news roundup of George Bush’s trip to Latin America. I will quote it in full since it wasn’t an article per se, and the NY Times will “disappear” it from their web site soon.<\/p>\n
On Bush\u2019s Trip, a Name Unspoken and a Surprising Phrase<\/b><\/p>\n
M\u00c9RIDA, Mexico, March 14 \u2014 Try as they might to make President Bush utter the name of his chief Latin American nemesis, President Hugo Ch\u00e1vez of Venezuela, reporters who covered Mr. Bush\u2019s five-nation trip through South and Central America could not succeed.<\/p>\n
Mr. Bush faced at least 11 questions about Mr. Ch\u00e1vez either in interviews immediately preceding his trip or in the mini-briefings he held in each country he visited, including a couple in which Mr. Bush was directly asked about the avoidance.<\/p>\n
Yet not once did he take the bait to say Mr. Ch\u00e1vez\u2019s name or to acknowledge him as a person. At one point reporters considered asking him directly, \u201cWho is the president of Venezuela?\u201d They concluded that it would not only be too ridiculous, but that it probably would not bring the desired result anyway.<\/p>\n
What appeared to be a decision to avoid using the name reflected a calculation by Mr. Bush that to engage in any sort of direct debate with the Venezuelan leader \u2014 who has called Mr. Bush a liar, \u201cthe devil\u201d and a \u201cpolitical cadaver\u201d \u2014 would be to encourage him that much more as he popped up throughout the week in Argentina or Nicaragua or Haiti or Jamaica to hurl still more insults.<\/p>\n
And aides traveling with Mr. Bush this week did their best to contend that he was not paying a stitch of attention to Mr. Ch\u00e1vez.<\/p>\n
But Mr. Bush undercut them by suggesting during an interview with Greta Van Susteren of Fox News that Mr. Ch\u00e1vez was indeed on his mind. Ms. Van Susteren interviewed Mr. Bush after he visited the ranch of President Tabar\u00e9 V\u00e1zquez of Uruguay, where his host served him Uruguayan barbecue. \u201cVenezuela has got fantastic meats,\u201d Mr. Bush said, then caught himself. \u201cI mean, Uruguay has got fantastic meats.\u201d<\/p>\n
Why Yes, He Did Say That<\/b><\/p>\n
Even Mr. Bush\u2019s friends in the region displayed an uncomfortable unpredictability in their public comments this week. The prize for the most off-color commentary during one of Mr. Bush\u2019s joint news conferences goes to President Luiz In\u00e1cio Lula da Silva of Brazil.<\/p>\n
Appearing with Mr. Bush in S\u00e3o Paulo last week, Mr. da Silva was asked about the prospects for a conclusion of the Doha Round of trade talks, important for nations like Brazil that seek freer access to American and European markets.<\/p>\n
According to the real-time translation pumped into the ears of the American visitors, Mr. da Silva said, \u201cWe\u2019re moving on solid ground to find a chance for the so-called \u2018G-point\u2019 to come to an agreement.\u201d<\/p>\n
President Bush blanched, and the Brazilians in the room broke out in uproarious laughter and gasps as the other Americans in the room puzzled over what initially appeared to them to be perhaps a local term used when speaking about trade talks. What the slightly erroneous translation meant was a certain erogenous zone in the female anatomy.<\/p>\n
American officials said aides traveling with Mr. Bush \u2014 among them Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and the national security adviser, Stephen J. Hadley \u2014 were initially in disbelief. But alas, it was true.<\/p>\n
Perhaps they could have seen it coming had they seen Mr. da Silva\u2019s quotes to local reporters the day before, when he promoted open talk about sexuality as a way to combat AIDS: \u201cSex is something that almost everybody likes. It\u2019s an organic necessity for the human species and animal species.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another Organic Necessity<\/b><\/p>\n
With scandal brewing at home and protests greeting him wherever he went, President Bush seemed to be seeking solace in food.<\/p>\n
It was certainly on his mind, and wherever he went he made some reference to what he would eat, what he hoped to eat or what he had eaten.<\/p>\n
In a news briefing in Uruguay at Dr. V\u00e1zquez\u2019s ranch \u2014 where meats were prepared in a giant pit \u2014 Mr. Bush said: \u201cI appreciate your willingness to cook some Uruguayan beef. You\u2019ve told me all along how good it is, and after we answer a few questions, we\u2019re about to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n
In an joint news briefing with President \u00d3scar Berger of Guatemala that preceded a dinner together, Mr. Bush said he was hurrying his remarks, explaining, \u201cI\u2019m not going to talk too long because I might get too hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Toward the end of the briefing, Mr. Bush reminded his host, \u201cThis will be your last question, Mr. President, and then we can start thinking about dinner \u2014 la cena,\u201d then asking, \u201cQu\u00e9 vamos a comer?\u201d \u2014 or, \u201cWhat are we going to eat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTortillas,\u201d Mr. Berger said. \u201cWe have tortillas with guacamole and beans.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTortillas?\u201d Mr. Bush said, \u201cQu\u00e9 bueno.\u201d<\/p>\n
But in Mexico, Mr. Bush seems to have finally had his fill. Tony Snow, the White House press secretary, opened the one full-fledged news briefing he gave during the entire trip by explaining Mr. Bush\u2019s lunch menu on Tuesday: \u201cThree panuchos: These are corn tortillas filled with refried beans \u2014 actually, sort of layered, not \u2018filled,\u2019 your flat, round tortillas, not great, big tortillas \u2014 with pork, turkey and roast chicken.\u201d<\/p>\n
On top of that, he said, \u201cThere was a fresh grouper fillet, with white rice and a Mexican herb called epazote, I think, and refried beans.\u201d Then, \u201cpapaya compote ice cream, served with a marquesita, that\u2019s a regional crepe, quite good; grated Dutch cheese.\u201d<\/p>\n
Speaking with his host, President Felipe Calder\u00f3n, on Wednesday morning, Mr. Bush finally admitted, \u201cEstoy lleno,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m full.\u201d<\/p>\n
Few Signs of Snow<\/b><\/p>\n
As he indicated during his briefing, Mr. Snow seemed to enjoy the food as well, as he stuck close to Mr. Bush\u2019s side at presidential lunches and dinners and tours through Mayan ruins in Guatemala and Mexico.<\/p>\n
But his empty lectern in the various hotel filing centers \u2014 where most of the journalists traveling with Mr. Bush worked as he toured \u2014 became something of a running joke among reporters who had little contact with Mr. Bush and his retinue and were chagrined by the absence of the man assigned to talk to them.<\/p>\n
At one point The Washington Post posted a mock milk carton all-points bulletin on its Web site, showing a picture of Mr. Snow and the headline, \u201cHave you seen this man?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Snow finally showed up on the last full day of the tour, briefing in the early evening about Mr. Bush\u2019s meetings with Mr. Calder\u00f3n in a bright yellow shirt that led one reporter \u2014 O.K., this one \u2014 to shout out, \u201cIt\u2019s like the arrival of the sun.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Snow later apologized, saying that the president\u2019s schedule had been more hectic and complicated than expected, making it logistically difficult for him time to brief the majority of the news media on the trip.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Could Bush and his administration seem more clueless or irrelevant? Probably. OK, given the track record, certainly. But this was a nevertheless amusing snapshot of Shrub flitting like a blissfully ignorant aristocrat around a region of the world that pretty much hates him (a group of Mayan priests even thought it necessary to break out the spiritual scrubbing bubbles<\/a> after his visit), continually side-stepping any vexing topics in a single-minded quest for the buffet table. I can almost hear him advising the poor to eat cake…<\/p>\n
This reading experience was followed by an episode of the radio show “This American Life<\/a>“. The theme was “What I Learned from TV”.<\/p>\n